BLOG 143

April 7, 2024

WHO MOTIVATES THE MOTIVATOR

“Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation: What’s the Difference?Intrinsic motivation is the drive to engage in activities because they are inherently interesting or enjoyable, rather than for external rewards or pressures, stemming from internal desires like personal satisfaction or curiosity.” (AI Overview)

This morning the slamming of a door reminded me of a friend’s tale of a mother tying a string of floss around a child’s loose tooth, tying the other end to a doorknob, then slamming the door to ‘liberate’ the tooth. I’m thinking this is more of an urban legend than something anyone’s mother would actually do. Either way, I see a glaring flaw in this strategy: what happens if the tooth flies away and is never seen again? What to leave for the tooth fairy? A proxy tooth? Not to mention the nervous anticipation of such an event. Or, what happens if the tooth doesn’t fall out? I’d be all for letting nature take its course and deal with the orthodontic implications later.

Anyway, I see all this as a microcosm of extrinsic versus intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic: someone else pulls the tooth. Intrinsic: delayed gratification from the tooth fairy. That may be a bit of a stretch, but
one my personal strategy for achieving goals is a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. While no external reward is forthcoming when I’m attempting to set a goal that is “good” for me but which I’m not self-disciplined enough to meet, I tell so many people about it that I either have to follow through or have a lot of explaining/rationalizing or walk-of-shaming to do.

Such was what was operating when I signed up for the Lavaman relay. After a couple of years of not riding my bike, I needed a reason to get back in the saddle, or sell this relatively expensive piece of equipment. Or three. Being accountable to a team made all the difference. I learned that not letting others down is a form of extrinsic motivation, but there are degrees of accountability. And creative excuses abound if one is not fully intrinsically committed. The goals I set for myself were reasonable but not negotiable. I knew what type of workouts to do and when to do them.

My previous training default was to just go biking whenever my hubby went. And do some cross training (yoga, swimming) on the side. That worked the last time I did the race eight years ago. But hubby was injured so I was ultimately forced to bike alone on a highway with a disconcerting history of fatalities. After a recent accident that took the lives of two well-known island residents, most of my (few) local riding buddies were disinclined to risk it. A major victory of intrinsic motivation came when I swallowed my fears and just. did. it.

There were other sacrifices to be made, too. Activities that I enjoyed doing, and which were arguably more beneficial, had to be shelved while must-do biking sessions took precedence.

And always there was the internal chatter of crippling self-doubt that has its roots in a lack of self-confidence and/or worrying what others might think of me: “I’m too old. You look foolish! Know your limits, Janet. What are you trying to prove? And if I crater now, if I don’t do it after all, how can I explain this to my blog Ohana?”

Through all that game of mental ping-pong I just kept doggedly following the routine I set out for myself. It wasn’t particularly demanding. But it was a major time commitment. Every workout I pushed another boundary, the benefit of which was reaped only by me. In the end, regardless of how others see me, it was the victory over my inner saboteur that will yield the greatest long-term benefit for me.

All types of motivation aside, it boils down to the simple fact that I only disappoint myself if I let my maniacal inner roommate drive my life. Having prevailed over some of the strongest attempts at sabotage that I’ve confronted in a long time, I am experiencing a renewed sense of self-respect and self-confidence. I’m determination to set new goals just to strengthen that sense of victory. I may even make a goal or two that I keep to myself, just to know, unequivocally, who motivates the motivator.

Now to get that cup of mixed nuts that I promised myself if/when I finished this blog!