Author: bondjanet

May 19, 2025

A ROOM WITH A VIEW

“Imagine your brain is a two-storey house. Of particular importance in the ‘upstairs’ brain is the frontal lobe, specifically the region [cortex] just behind our forehead. This is responsible for our executive functioning skills – our ability to focus, plan, prioritise, reason and make rational decisions. It also helps us to become more self-aware and aware of others.

“The ‘downstairs’ brain’s limbic system is responsible for some critical functions that keep us alive (like breathing and regulating our heart rate) as well as our impulses and emotions [our fight, flight or freeze impulses]. Between the ‘upstairs’ and ‘downstairs’ brains is a connecting ‘staircase’. This is the network of neurons and synapses that carry information up and down, to and from the different parts of the brain. Both areas of our brain need to work together for us to function well. However, young children’s ‘upstairs’ and ‘downstairs’ brains often struggle to work together.” (drdanseigel.com)

That’s my struggle, too.

I woke this morning with the image of a big yellow garbage chute attached to an under-construction building that I’d seen in passing when driving to the West Side. I thought of how useful it would be to have a convenient way to dump the unwanted garbage that clogs the staircase between my upstairs and downstairs brain on a regular basis. It made me think of the terms “panic room” and “safe room”, with the panic initiated in the downstairs brain trying to clamor for the safety of some logical explanation in the upstairs brain. The terms panic room and safe room are often used interchangeably, but the physical sensations stirred by the mention of a panic room versus a safe room are polar opposites, as are the thoughts or emotions generated in association with each space.

Panic room best describes the headspace I found myself in after having shared some sensitive aspects of my spiritual journey with a relative stranger, and then thinking better of it. Of course these “second thoughts” ambushed me in the wee hours, with a waking dream of being censored by a brahmachari, a psychiatrist, a reverend, and a therapist. All the things I am not, and which a part of me deems prerequisite to sharing with others the lessons of my lived experience.

What to do with these inner saboteurs?

There’s an expression that was part of the worship service at Yasodhara Ashram in which we passed our palms over a candle flame while mentally repeating: “May the oil of ignorance be burned in the fire of wisdom.” It reinforced the intention to be the master of one’s thoughts and actions by rising above one’s conditioned, knee-jerk reactions to a higher ‘level’, one informed by studying any of the wisdom traditions and applying them to daily life. Seeing that yellow garbage chute as the flame, the idea presented itself to drop any such unworthy thoughts into the incinerator of honest reflection and self-awareness, so as to not have them cluttering up my life and sabotaging my best efforts.

These days most of my efforts go into trying to raise my own consciousness and that of the people around me from one of need-and-greed-self-centeredness to the more altruistic perspective that ‘nobody wins unless everybody wins’. Not only do I have a right to do that as a free and independent thinker, but I believe it is my duty to grow ever more self-aware, and share anything that might mitigate what pundit David Brooks calls “this age of gradual dehumanization”.

Sometimes it helps to step away from our usual preoccupations and create a space — a safe room, as it were — in which to read, reflect, practice meditation or mantra, and generally open one’s mind to a bigger picture in the ‘upstairs brain’. Consider it a room with a view, one in which we see ourselves more clearly, courageously and compassionately. And then do the favor of seeing others with the same patience, tolerance and acceptance that we would have them extend to us. In this way we take another step up that staircase from the lower instincts of competition and greed in the downstairs brain to the upstairs brain of our true humanity. A hard but worthwhile climb, indeed.

Whew. This calls for some chai and popcorn. 🍿

BLOG 148
May 12, 2025

THE ART OF SEEING

“I’ve come to believe that the quality of our lives and the health of our society depends, to a large degree, on how well we treat each other in the minute interactions of daily life. And all these different skills rest on one foundational skill: the ability to understand what another person is going through. There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood. That is at the heart of being a good person, the ultimate gift you can give to others and to yourself.”

(David Brooks: How to Know a Person, Random House, 2023)

Walking through our parkade not long ago, I automatically waved to the driver of a passing car, though I couldn’t see who was driving behind the tinted windows. Figuring that anyone using the same parking level was at least a passing acquaintance or possible neighbor, my immediate reaction was to wave in the polite but distant way that we pass fellow condo dwellers for years with no real recognition or acknowledgment.

I began to think of that passing car as a metaphor for the facades each of us present to the world, seldom allowing anyone to see behind our “tinted windows” to the cares and concerns, thoughts and feelings that are driving our observable behavior. This thought compelled me to delve into Brooks’s book (that I had been given a couple of years ago but hadn’t opened, thinking I am sufficiently adept at getting to know people). According to Brooks, that just ain’t so:

“I probably don’t know you personally, but I can make the following statement with a high degree of confidence: You’re not as good as you think you are. We all go through our days awash in social ignorance”… and… “How often in your life have you felt stereotyped and categorized? How often have you felt pre-judged, invisible, misheard or misunderstood? Do you really think you don’t do this to others on a daily basis?”

Busted!

This insight came as I was beginning to acknowledge a need for a greater sense of belonging and community now that I’m back in the city. My husband’s and my peripatetic lifestyle sees us being away for months at a time from the new-to-us neighborhood of West Vancouver. Often, when I return — as we did in late April — I experience a kind of disorientation that seems to have increased with age, and which can trigger the sort of existential crisis that I mentioned in an earlier blog. I have to work harder to reconnect with old friends, and/or make new ones, to create a sense of structure and purpose that set the camber of my waking life. Hence Brooks’s words came at an opportune time:

“The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view”.

I find it reassuring that Brooks’s book came to my attention when it did. It reminds me of the adage: “Seek and you will find; ask and you will receive; knock and the door will be opened for you.” It was encouraging to learn I’m not the only one to register a need to see and be seen, or who perceives a certain urgency to counteract what Brooks calls “this age of creeping dehumanization”.

Now to leave the relative isolation of blogging and head outside for my afternoon tea break. Repopulating the neighborhood, one chai at a time.

BLOG 147
May 5, 2025

What’s it all about, Alfie?

“In 1844, Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote, “Whoever has learnt to be anxious in the right way, has learnt the ultimate.” This expresses the idea that existential anxiety goes beyond fear about day-to-day troubles.” (verywellmind.com)

This morning’s sunrise lights the residential buildings across from me in high relief against the dark hills and lush greenery of spring in B.C. The ocean, often turbulent due to wind and/or swinging tides, is a sheet of silvery glass, reflecting the hulls of the freighters anchored in English Bay. This is an apt metaphor for how I wish to start my day — as a mirror that reflects the beauty and tranquility around me. Too often this idyllic peace is disturbed by the wailing sirens of emergency vehicles roaring by on Marine Drive. The sirens are probably the worst feature of our move to the condo in West Vancouver. But, just as we cannot have light without shadow, so too one cannot live in community without having to deal with the things that disturb one’s equanimity.

Sometimes this “disturbance” reaches the epic proportions of an existential crisis. Whereas general or free-floating anxiety may be triggered by having too much stimuli, too many choices or, conversely, not enough to constructively occupy one’s mind, the existential crisis goes beyond these garden variety worries into questions of meaning, choice and freedom:

“Existentialism postulates that we have this anxiety or angst because there is no “right” path and no guide to tell us what to do. In essence, each of us must make meaning in our own lives. If this responsibility feels too great, we may retreat into ways of behaving that shield us from this feeling of anxiety.” (Ibid)

What encouraged me when researching “existential crises” (can you tell I’ve had a challenging week?) was Kierkgaard’s assertion that to have learnt to be anxious in the right way is to have learnt the ultimate. Now to figure out what he meant by that.

I read:

“Existentialism is a family of philosophical views and inquiry that explore the human individual’s struggle to lead an authentic life despite the apparent absurdity or incomprehensibility of existence. In examining meaning, purpose, and value, existentialist thought often includes concepts such as existential crises, angst, courage, and freedom.” (Wikipedia)

Well, yes. I get that. But what has it got to do with learning the ultimate?

Kierkegaard coined the term “leap of faith” to describe how one has to figuratively leap over the emotional and psychological boundaries of logic and reason in order to enter the ineffable mystery — the ultimate reality — that some call God. As Father Cavanaugh said to Rudy in the film by that name: “Son, in thirty-five years of religious studies, I’ve come up with only two hard, incontrovertible facts; there is a God, and, I’m not him.”

Perhaps to be anxious in the right way is to know that there is a God, and that we are not her/him/they/them/it. To have a holy fear, then, is to experience a fear not of punishment or dread, but of awe, wonder and respect for a power much greater than oneself. The existential crisis comes in when this humbling reality dawns on the ego that has heretofore been “King of the road.” And stubbornly refuses to give up its throne, to “let go and let God.” Such as I am about to do now because I fear I’m in over my head.

Goodnight and God bless.

April 28, 2025

GOOD, BETTER, BEST?

“Nourishing ourselves on the very inside of our being helps us to cope with the complexities and uncertainties of life, the helplessness we feel when we can’t control world events. There are too many power structures. We cannot fight them all at once. They have been on Earth since humans started walking around trying to expand their territory, conquering other countries. It has always been the same. Perhaps the methods of war, politics and economics have changed, but the basic elements have always been there. People have wondered what they can do about their helplessness, and how they will survive, and where they will go from here. But often it is not until we are so hurt or feel such a sense of helplessness or emptiness that we begin to think deeply.” (Swami Sivananda Radha YOGA A PATH TO AWARENESS Timeless Books 2016)

On the window sill across from me is a framed group of twelve photos that were taken in 2014, featuring members of our daughter’s family on travels or doing activities that used to be easy for me to accompany. Eleven years ago. When I could wrangle grand-babies, hike, travel, and ski etc. with ease. Now even the steps up to the cabin in Whistler cause me difficulty. These realities comprise a different kind of growing pains, aka aging, hormonal changes, physical infirmities and the above-mentioned sense of insecurity as the external world spins around, through and past me.

As often happens when I find myself going down a rabbit hole of “catastrophic thinking”, I remind myself to expand my sense of things. Beyond the framed photos, I see the outdoor landscape undulating down the hill, crossing the lake, climbing the craggy, tree-clad slopes of Armchair Glacier, while the sunrise peeks over the surrounding mountains. But for degrees of winter or summer snow cover, the mountains offer a sense of perennial strength and permanence that put today’s problems in perspective. I ask myself “Five years from now, how much will this, or that, really matter? And if it does, what can I do about it in this particular moment?”

In the meantime, nourishing myself on the very inside of my being seems like a reasonable strategy, as I subscribe to what Swami Radha suggests below:

“Sometimes on an individual level, we can also have what I call “silent revolutions”. The silent revolution is when you change on the inside, taking a new look at life and who you are. You may decide that life has to change, but you can’t change the world. So what can you change? Only yourself, and you might be able to help change others — awakening them to the need for greater awareness. You can sharpen your intelligence. You can even cooperate with your own destiny. You don’t have to wait until life breaks you down in pain. Pain is a great teacher and for some it is the only teacher. But life doesn’t have to be that way.”

For me, the aim of a silent revolution is to increase my awareness through the use of yogic tools. One of the most effective “tools” is Swami Radha’s liberal use of continuous query. Also known as the Socratic method, it involves engaging in a dialogue with self or others through a series of questions. Its aim is to explore our underlying beliefs and challenge assumptions in order to arrive at a deeper understanding of what makes one tick. It encourages critical thinking, logic, and reasoning as students are prompted to evaluate their own arguments and beliefs.

Even a simple question such as “how am I feeling right now?” can lift the needle from the rut of our constant, run-around thoughts and touch more into our emotions, perhaps assigning them feelings words that we can then work with, such as I used to describe the insecurity and vulnerability I was feeling this morning after pondering how much had changed in the last decade. And reeling from reading a newsletter on world affairs.

On such occasions, it helps to ask myself: “What is happening here? How do I know this is so? If it didn’t have to be this way, how else could it be?” The point is to not get caught in mechanical patterns of reacting vs responding to whatever is going on. Any chapter in any of Swami Radha’s writings is peppered with such questions:

“How am I imprisoned by mechanical reactions and untested beliefs? How can new decisions be made? What is it I want to do now? Where do I want to go from here?”

Through steady, methodical self-questioning and honest, thoughtful answering we gradually liberate ourselves from the mental/emotional reactivity of our old mechanical habits and social conditioning. With ever-increasing awareness we have ever greater agency to make inner and outer changes.

As Gandhi would say: “You must be the change you wish to see in the world today.”

Now is a good time to start.

GOOD INTENTIONS
April 21, 2025

Excerpt from a letter to my future self penned on New Year’s Eve 2024:

“Doing the crossword puzzle I see clues like “joie de vivre” (élan), “desires” (yens), “delight” (rapture) etc. These put me to mind of words and feelings I would like to employ in 2025.”

Back in Whistler for Easter weekend I experienced a kind of Rip Van Winkle moment in which I realized that, while I’d been away for the better part of six months, things I’d left undone were still waiting to be done, and indeed some of them, like the list of resolutions for 2025 that I found in a bedside drawer, had been “undone” for longer than I care to admit!

But, I had one big win!

A bit of backstory here. For a New Year’s project our son gave each family member an envelope with a blank page inside and a quote on the outside. My envelope said “Thanks for the great adventure”. The idea was to write a note to oneself that we would then open in December of 2025 to see if the note’s intention/s had been met.

In my letter I wrote: “In Dec. ‘25 I’d like to be thanking myself for having the gusto to say yes to great adventures. Goals I set for myself in the fall of 2024 include riding in my 3rd Lavaman”…”This calls for more gusto than I have heretofore mustered since before COVID, and can’t believe I’d ever repeat the exercise [of entering the Lavaman again]. Inshallah, I’ll be able to say I did it!”

And on March 6, 2025 I actually did!

Two things bear noting here. First, as often happens when I’ve been away for any length of time, upon my return I find myself disoriented and lacking a sense of direction. Jet lag and allergies rob me of the motivation to initiate anything, even if I knew what it was I wanted to do. Coming to Whistler with a throbbing head didn’t exactly fill me with joie de vivre for celebrating Easter weekend with a dozen people. Such times call for an attitude adjustment, among other things. Otherwise I risk missing out on the fun to be had in a mildly chaotic family gathering. With no oven in which to cook anything.

Secondly, as if in answer to a need I hadn’t consciously expressed, a search for my mala in the bedside drawer turned up a duplicate of the aforementioned New Year’s letter. And, in it I found the sense of direction that had been lacking since I returned to B.C. This bears noting because it reinforces the biblical: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” that I trusted when I found myself “wandering in the wilderness” on my first few days back home.

I wish I could say that the other “yens” I recorded in my New Year’s letter were starting to gain some momentum. With the excuse of Easter weekend drawing to a close, I re-viewed the list late this afternoon. One item at least reminds me of another resolution I made last December: “I hereby commit to another 52 weeks of blogs.” Having contemplated writing my last blog to coincide with turning 75 in July, I now have to answer to my future self should I renege on this original promise. This highlights just how much more difficult it is to keep promises to myself than having to answer to other, external motivators I that talked about last Monday.

Perhaps that’s why I pepper my blog with mention of goals that otherwise might languish unaddressed until I reread my note-to-self next December. For the record, I’m going to lose those fifteen pounds I gained since COVID. I’m going to brush up on my French language skills. I’m going to be early or easily on time for my appointments. And I’m going to give others the benefit of the doubt. Including myself, when, in December next, I may or may not have ticked all those boxes.

P.S. Since it’s a bit too late to write a New Year’s Eve letter to your future self, may I suggest you write one on your next birthday, if for no other reason than to experience a facsimile of the huge lift I got from seeing that I’d done ONE BIG THING I thought I could not do.

And so can you.

BLOG 144
April 15, 2025

TALISMANS AND AMULETS

“Talismans are closely linked with amulets, fulfilling many of the same roles, but a key difference is in their functions. An amulet protects a person or possession against evil forces while a talisman provides good fortune.” (Wikipedia)

On my final ocean swim prior to flying home, I dutifully strapped on the shark bracelet that a fellow swimmer gave me, “because you spend so much time in the water”, and the word talisman popped into my head, though I wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. Upon further investigation, I learned that “amulet” was the name I was looking for, unless I could ascribe to the bracelet the good fortune of not getting attacked by one of the local niuhi (you can look it up.)

In any case, I began to contemplate the less strict applications I make of talismans and amulets in daily living. Along with wearing the shark bracelet for protection while ocean swimming, I also wear any number of bracelets, rings or even certain colors of clothing to “bless and make straight the way.” I have a micro mosaic ring of a dove that I bought in Florence in 1968 that, after a few decades submerged in a box of costume jewelry, I rediscovered and now wear as a symbol for the St. Francis Prayer which, in turn, I mentally repeat to remind me of my desire to be a channel of peace.

Upon further examination, I realize that much of what I wear and even keep in proximity to me reflects a deeper intention or carries a particular meaning known only to me. You probably do this too, consciously or otherwise, because much of what we do as humans stems from a desire to avoid ill and/or attract good fortune.

To bring these unconscious reasons to consciousness gives me more clarity about what my thoughts and feelings are attracting, or repelling. For example, I frequently wear a hematite bracelet that my friend Pam, a crystal enthusiast, tells me is for grounding my energy. She has given me several different bracelets and from which I choose according to whatever energy I wish to attract or quality I wish to embody. Contrary to feeling like a superstitious hypochondriac, (though a part of me definitely does think that) I prefer to see this behavior as creating tangible reminders of my best intentions.

When I rode in the Lavaman relay I wore a bright flamingo-print biking jersey to convey the spirit of fun and frivolity that I shared with my recently deceased friend Debi. It was her indomitable courage and optimism that motivated me to train and compete in the race.

So what am I trying to say?

There are so many causes for fear and frustration in our world — not to mention conflicting thoughts in my own mind — that I need all the help I can get to stay positive and motivated on any given day. Each morning I drop into my journal any cares or concerns that might negatively affect my mood, and my ability to respond vs react to the people or events around me. I liken it to checking my gas tank before a long drive, have I got enough energy to carry me through whatever I’m determined to do? My mantra practice helps me implement my plans or simply ground my energy.

Along with all the hacks and practices I’ve shared in this blog over the years (Yes! It’s been almost FIVE since my first installment!) I’m offering the simple suggestion that you select an item of jewelry to represent a quality or ideal you wish to cultivate. When you wear this amulet you make a conscious choice to invite that energy into your mind and body.

The more concrete or tangible you can make your ideals, the better you can embody these qualities, and attract the people and circumstances that help make these ideals real.

Aum Namah Sivayah

PS every time I see this zippy 🦩 icon I remember that, with discipline and persistence, I can do whatever I set my mind to. Within reason…

BLOG 143

April 7, 2024

WHO MOTIVATES THE MOTIVATOR

“Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation: What’s the Difference?Intrinsic motivation is the drive to engage in activities because they are inherently interesting or enjoyable, rather than for external rewards or pressures, stemming from internal desires like personal satisfaction or curiosity.” (AI Overview)

This morning the slamming of a door reminded me of a friend’s tale of a mother tying a string of floss around a child’s loose tooth, tying the other end to a doorknob, then slamming the door to ‘liberate’ the tooth. I’m thinking this is more of an urban legend than something anyone’s mother would actually do. Either way, I see a glaring flaw in this strategy: what happens if the tooth flies away and is never seen again? What to leave for the tooth fairy? A proxy tooth? Not to mention the nervous anticipation of such an event. Or, what happens if the tooth doesn’t fall out? I’d be all for letting nature take its course and deal with the orthodontic implications later.

Anyway, I see all this as a microcosm of extrinsic versus intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic: someone else pulls the tooth. Intrinsic: delayed gratification from the tooth fairy. That may be a bit of a stretch, but
one my personal strategy for achieving goals is a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. While no external reward is forthcoming when I’m attempting to set a goal that is “good” for me but which I’m not self-disciplined enough to meet, I tell so many people about it that I either have to follow through or have a lot of explaining/rationalizing or walk-of-shaming to do.

Such was what was operating when I signed up for the Lavaman relay. After a couple of years of not riding my bike, I needed a reason to get back in the saddle, or sell this relatively expensive piece of equipment. Or three. Being accountable to a team made all the difference. I learned that not letting others down is a form of extrinsic motivation, but there are degrees of accountability. And creative excuses abound if one is not fully intrinsically committed. The goals I set for myself were reasonable but not negotiable. I knew what type of workouts to do and when to do them.

My previous training default was to just go biking whenever my hubby went. And do some cross training (yoga, swimming) on the side. That worked the last time I did the race eight years ago. But hubby was injured so I was ultimately forced to bike alone on a highway with a disconcerting history of fatalities. After a recent accident that took the lives of two well-known island residents, most of my (few) local riding buddies were disinclined to risk it. A major victory of intrinsic motivation came when I swallowed my fears and just. did. it.

There were other sacrifices to be made, too. Activities that I enjoyed doing, and which were arguably more beneficial, had to be shelved while must-do biking sessions took precedence.

And always there was the internal chatter of crippling self-doubt that has its roots in a lack of self-confidence and/or worrying what others might think of me: “I’m too old. You look foolish! Know your limits, Janet. What are you trying to prove? And if I crater now, if I don’t do it after all, how can I explain this to my blog Ohana?”

Through all that game of mental ping-pong I just kept doggedly following the routine I set out for myself. It wasn’t particularly demanding. But it was a major time commitment. Every workout I pushed another boundary, the benefit of which was reaped only by me. In the end, regardless of how others see me, it was the victory over my inner saboteur that will yield the greatest long-term benefit for me.

All types of motivation aside, it boils down to the simple fact that I only disappoint myself if I let my maniacal inner roommate drive my life. Having prevailed over some of the strongest attempts at sabotage that I’ve confronted in a long time, I am experiencing a renewed sense of self-respect and self-confidence. I’m determination to set new goals just to strengthen that sense of victory. I may even make a goal or two that I keep to myself, just to know, unequivocally, who motivates the motivator.

Now to get that cup of mixed nuts that I promised myself if/when I finished this blog!

BLOG 142
March 31, 2025

POWER TRIPPING
(think banana peels…)

“When we think about cooperating with our own evolution, we have to think about how much we all want power. We all want to control. Well, begin with controlling your destiny. That’s the step to begin with. How much can you control yourself? You may control a whole army, but that doesn’t mean anything if you can’t control yourself. You can see that in politics. Presidents of countries have a lot of power and they try to exercise enormous control. But if there is no control of self, all the power that can be exercised somewhere else doesn’t mean a thing. It leads to your own undoing. You either fall from your high position, or you get sick, or you have some other destiny that brings you down.” (Swami Sivananda Radha Time to be Holy)

Biking on the Queen K Highway with our eldest son today, I came up with a literal example of the kind of cooperation I find lacking in today’s “political” climate. In road biking there’s a term called drafting, which is a technique wherein a cyclist rides close behind another cyclist to reduce wind resistance, and conserve energy. On the home stretch of a longer-than-usual ride (I like the cafe atmosphere at the Auberge in Mauna Lani better than at Starbucks in Waikoloa Beach) I was lagging in energy and regretting my chai-break preference. So I tucked in behind our son and was “pulled” the last few miles of the ride. While at it, I thought of my personal mantra:

“Nobody wins unless everybody wins.”

My son could’ve easily left me in the dust and claimed some dubious victory (after all, I am a “little old lady”) but the cooperation of drafting meant that we both enjoyed a sense of accomplishment. This is not generally what I see in Western society, or in politics, in specific. What I’m lately witnessing is a society built largely on competition and greed, (no less so than in our national leaders) with power being consolidated in the hands of fewer and fewer people. Hillevi Ruumet ascribes these self-interested behaviors to our lower nature or first three chakras. But history teaches that such a myopic view of power and control creates a trap of its own:

Swami Radha writes:

“Emperors and presidents of powerful countries have the fear as well as the admiration of the world, but what does it give them in return? Look at what they have. They are not even safe in their own homes. They need a whole battery of bodyguards around.” (Self-Worth, Time to be Holy)

The wiser use of power and control is in mastering one’s own personality aspects, and their attendant egos. If I have an aspect that craves attention, or insists on being right at all times, I will stand little chance of evolving beyond my lower three chakras. Ruumet believes this evolution to a more collaborative, heartfelt or altruistic approach is “crucial to our survival through the 21st century”. In her helical model of psychological and spiritual development, Ruumet explains that each of our seven chakras relate to certain tasks to be mastered — and attributes to be recruited — as we learn to navigate our world with ever-increasing courage, character and awareness. One such attribute is the capacity for honest self-witnessing.

A constructive use of our time would be to regularly reflect on our words and actions and assess what we might change, what might stand improvement, and/or what we might continue to do. We needn’t necessarily go looking for “growth opportunities”. Life has a tendency to confront us with our shadow stuff, are we but willing to examine our motives and own our role in whatever problems present themselves. The key to cooperating with our spiritual evolution, or leading an examined life, is a combination of studying the wisdom traditions, cultivating our intuition and applying the lessons learned through daily reflection to our journey in life.

In such a way, we can lead by example, or, as Swami Radha says of a Divine Mother handmaiden: “help others strengthen their faith and have the courage to keep going”.

And remember: karma is the ultimate b***h.

BLOG 141
MARCH 17, 2025

SANCTUARY

“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” (Albert Einstein)

Swimming laps of backstroke in an outdoor pool today, I observed a graphic illustration of what it’s like to go from the calm and quiet of a meditative state to the mental noise of conflicting thoughts and the usual barrage of external “problems”. With my ears immersed in the water I silently enjoyed the view of robin’s egg blue sky, watching the cotton-ball clouds drifting by and allowing myself to relax into the calming buoyancy of the water. I think of how children are able to lose themselves gazing into “outer space” — especially when there’s chores to be done — and wonder if that’s what Einstein was thinking of.

Turning over to do the front crawl was another story altogether; the loud snarling of a nearby chainsaw ripped through the morning quiet and instantly threw me into a very different mood. If that cranky mood is allowed to persist, it will no doubt affect everyone I come in contact with. I learned a quote yesterday that sums up this phenomenon:

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stuck-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out from your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” (Roald Dahl, The Witches)

With such a suggestion in mind, I spent some time thinking of ways that I can emanate those sunbeam-y rays. I often mentally repeat the words of the St. Francis prayer before settling to bed, or any time I wish to quiet my emotions and set positive intentions:

“Make me a channel of thy peace. Where there is hatred let me sow your love. Where there is injury your pardon Lord, and where there’s doubt true faith in thee.

“Make me a channel of thy peace. Where there’s despair in life let me sow hope. Where there is darkness let me sow your light. And where there’s sadness, ever joy.

“Oh master grant that I may never seek, so much to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love with all my soul.

“Make me a channel of thy peace. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; in giving unto all that we receive, and dying grow into eternal light.” (End quote)

By steeping myself in such a prayer I believe I have some agency, however small, in making the world a better place.

Seeking, creating and sharing beauty are other ways to brighten someone’s day. A kind word. A small (sincere) compliment. A selfless gesture. An attentive ear when I sense a need to be heard. Honoring others’ right to their own truth, but knowing that there’s often a truth behind a truth keeps me from jumping to conclusions.

In these and other ways I strive to create a sense of sanctuary within and around me. There’s no room in such a sanctuary for ugly thoughts, no matter how justified they seem at the time. Or for lies and self-justifications. Honest self-reflection helps me remove the dust and clutter that dim my inner light, along with the layers of bias and conditioning that no longer serve me.

Last but not least, it takes a profound humility to accept and forgive my own and others’ imperfections. Admit and make amends for my mistakes. And vow to do better the next day.

Oh. And celebrate my victories, however small, with Justin’s organic dark chocolate peanut butter cups.

BLOG 140
March 9, 2025

THE END GAME

“The final stage of some process, as in ‘The book discussed the diplomatic end game resulting in the treaty’. This term, dating from about 1880, comes from chess, where it denotes the stage of a game when most of the pieces have been removed from the board. In the mid-1900s it began to be transferred to other activities.” (Dictionary.com)

While whale watching yesterday morning I learned how to spot what is sometimes called the “footprint”, a patch of extra-smooth water that remains after a whale dives from the surface into the depths. The amount of time a whale stays in the depths varies with maturity, the older whales staying under for fifteen to twenty minutes on average, while baby whales come up for breath much more often. Despite the fact that a whale can travel great distances from its “footprint” until it next resurfaces, I often find myself staring at that footprint and willing the whale to come surging out of the water at the same approximate spot. Hopefully to perform a spectacular breach. More often than not, the whale surfaces a few hundred yards away, and can easily be missed if I’m mesmerized by its footprint. Otherwise known as living in the past.

Swami Radha talks about journaling as a way to track one’s footprints, with a view to learning from past words and actions so as not to perpetuate our mistakes. Catching myself in this somewhat fruitless pattern of focusing on traces of a retreating whale sparked the insight that I might (just possibly) be doing the same backwards-glancing in other facets of my life. How often do I catch myself ruminating about a past experience such that I fail to experience the present moment? Unresolved issues, or unfinished business (karma) can set me up for a pattern of perpetuating my mistakes, or in some way resurrecting past situations that have yet to be resolved.

What to do when that happens? What would be the point of reflecting regularly on daily events? To what “end game” or aim does one cultivate a consistent spiritual practice? As in chess, where precedents have been laid by earlier manœuvres, so too, at a certain stage of life the die seems cast by the cumulative effect of past words and actions. Though they say it’s never too late, what gives one the incentive to change? And can we voluntarily cooperate with our evolution, or fulfill our potential for growth, without having to experience the cosmic 2×4 that rudely shakes us out of our complacency? And once that wake-up call has been heard, how to go about responding?

Building on the advice that I heard repeatedly at Yasodhara Ashram, I have taught myself to “take it into my practices”. Take my confusion and/or sorrow, my grudges and/or resentments into my reflections, and enhance my clarity through any number of centering practices.

One such practice bears mentioning here. Called “functioning from my heart center”, this practice is a walking meditation aimed at lifting energy from the lower three centers — the first, second and third chakras — to the fourth, or heart center, where the self-centeredness of ego gives way to other-centeredness, the altruism of a wisdom that nobody wins unless everybody wins. While this may sound naive in the extreme, it is not unachievable. And it is the last great hope of a civilization that seems bent on self-destruction.

To perform this practice one stands with the hands cupped gently in the space just below the navel. The hands then lift an imaginary ball of healing light up to chest level, and then rounds the arms forward, up and out to describe an ever-expanding circle that concludes back below the navel. This motion is repeated while walking at a gentle pace and reciting the mantra silently or aloud: “I am functioning from my heart center, I am functioning from my heart center”, etc. As we do so, we visualize ourselves drawing up any negative emotions or stagnant energy from our lower centers and transforming them in this ball of healing light, then sharing with the world our positive intention. In such a way we are more capable of transcending the ego and responding objectively and constructively to whatever life presents.

At this stage of my life, where “most of the pieces have been removed from the board”, (including several nice but non-essential bits and bobs) I subscribe to the approach of Swami Radha:

“I have often said in a prayer, “My mind is so clever, it can interpret anything in any way it wants. Make it so that I won’t have that chance. Make it very clear, with no question about it.” If it’s too tough, then it’s a matter of humility to say, “I need help to see this. Please help me.” Otherwise, you could really ruin the rest of your life.

“I have been hammering at conscious cooperation for many lifetimes. Sometime, if you really want to understand and know, you may find out more about your life and how many lives have converged into this one to give you this chance to undo, to rebuild, and to build entirely anew.” (Ch. 41, “Karma”, Time to be Holy)

Aum Namah Sivayah,

Otherwise known as “happy hammering” to you…