BLOG 147
May 5, 2025

What’s it all about, Alfie?

“In 1844, Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard wrote, “Whoever has learnt to be anxious in the right way, has learnt the ultimate.” This expresses the idea that existential anxiety goes beyond fear about day-to-day troubles.” (verywellmind.com)

This morning’s sunrise lights the residential buildings across from me in high relief against the dark hills and lush greenery of spring in B.C. The ocean, often turbulent due to wind and/or swinging tides, is a sheet of silvery glass, reflecting the hulls of the freighters anchored in English Bay. This is an apt metaphor for how I wish to start my day — as a mirror that reflects the beauty and tranquility around me. Too often this idyllic peace is disturbed by the wailing sirens of emergency vehicles roaring by on Marine Drive. The sirens are probably the worst feature of our move to the condo in West Vancouver. But, just as we cannot have light without shadow, so too one cannot live in community without having to deal with the things that disturb one’s equanimity.

Sometimes this “disturbance” reaches the epic proportions of an existential crisis. Whereas general or free-floating anxiety may be triggered by having too much stimuli, too many choices or, conversely, not enough to constructively occupy one’s mind, the existential crisis goes beyond these garden variety worries into questions of meaning, choice and freedom:

“Existentialism postulates that we have this anxiety or angst because there is no “right” path and no guide to tell us what to do. In essence, each of us must make meaning in our own lives. If this responsibility feels too great, we may retreat into ways of behaving that shield us from this feeling of anxiety.” (Ibid)

What encouraged me when researching “existential crises” (can you tell I’ve had a challenging week?) was Kierkgaard’s assertion that to have learnt to be anxious in the right way is to have learnt the ultimate. Now to figure out what he meant by that.

I read:

“Existentialism is a family of philosophical views and inquiry that explore the human individual’s struggle to lead an authentic life despite the apparent absurdity or incomprehensibility of existence. In examining meaning, purpose, and value, existentialist thought often includes concepts such as existential crises, angst, courage, and freedom.” (Wikipedia)

Well, yes. I get that. But what has it got to do with learning the ultimate?

Kierkegaard coined the term “leap of faith” to describe how one has to figuratively leap over the emotional and psychological boundaries of logic and reason in order to enter the ineffable mystery — the ultimate reality — that some call God. As Father Cavanaugh said to Rudy in the film by that name: “Son, in thirty-five years of religious studies, I’ve come up with only two hard, incontrovertible facts; there is a God, and, I’m not him.”

Perhaps to be anxious in the right way is to know that there is a God, and that we are not her/him/they/them/it. To have a holy fear, then, is to experience a fear not of punishment or dread, but of awe, wonder and respect for a power much greater than oneself. The existential crisis comes in when this humbling reality dawns on the ego that has heretofore been “King of the road.” And stubbornly refuses to give up its throne, to “let go and let God.” Such as I am about to do now because I fear I’m in over my head.

Goodnight and God bless.