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GOODBYE BARBIE

“In the simplest terms, the shift we are undergoing right now has to do with recognizing ourselves as being more than human, remembering that our earthly aspects are a very small part of who we are. In truth, we are multidimensional beings. When we begin to realize this, the life we planned for a limited conception of ourselves no longer fits. We must meet the needs and qualifications not only of our bodies but also of our souls”…”and we all must find the way that works for us to integrate this new and larger sense of self into our life plan.” (Daily Om, October 16, 2024)

This past week I had the good fortune to briefly share our grand-daughter’s first foray into “higher education”; strolling around campus, visiting the dorm, the sorority, the student union building for schwag, and the eating spots — pizza, frozen yogurt, noodles, burritos — popular with a certain budget and demographic. I felt giddy seeing all the myriad learning opportunities (and extra-curricular activities) on offer at this vaunted university. By day’s end, however, I felt equally giddy returning to our spacious hotel room and six lane pool where I could soothe my overstimulated mind and overheated body. In the peace and calm of the nearly empty pool, I mulled over the impressions of the day, at which time a bittersweet realization dawned on me: I no longer have the time, energy, inclination or envy to join this teeming sea of bright young people. By comparison, it’s all too easy, in my mid-seventies — recovering from hip surgery, collapsed arches and other infirmities — to see myself as a salmon who has, after a lifetime at sea, swum upriver and spawned, and, thus having served my purpose, should be preparing to exit stage left. This is not a fate I am keen to embrace.

That’s why I endeavor to lead an examined life.

I like to believe that, for humans of any age there is so much more to explore, no end of wonder to experience, no end of learning and growing to do. As challenging, frustrating or disappointing as daily living can be, it also provides many subtle answers to the questions that I pose in my spiritual journal, and satisfies my desire to understand the deeper motives and meanings of what’s happening around me.

To get these answers and foster this understanding requires me to be receptive and curious, taking note of the symbolism and metaphors that stand out from the constant flow of information coming my way. No matter how small and insignificant the encounter might seem, there is often a message lurking just under the surface. Today’s insight came through observing a frog no larger than a raisin.

Though the mighty-voiced coqui frog has been all but eliminated from this part of the island, I spotted one hopping across the stepping stones in our garden on the day of our arrival in Hawaii. Curiosity led me to an internet search of the frog totem in Native American spirituality. In the “Spirit Animal Blog” posted by Urban Healers of L.A., the following spoke to me:

“In native teachings, there are three stages of life; the Child, the Adult, and the Elder. The Elder is the most highly honored position among Native communities who recognize that the health and wellness of the individual is inextricable from the health and wellness of the tribe, which is only possible due to the unbroken chain of effort of ones ancestors who survived the trials of life. Elders are the guides who tell the tales of instruction passed down from generation to generation by the sacred fireplace. It is likely that your experience of family was not filled with such community and wisdom. Frog medicine asks that you let yourself grieve for that reality and begin the journey to become an Elder for others.”

In retrospect, it’s easy to see the progression from “Child” to “Adult” in the loss of attachment to the shiny objects that attracted me in the past. I no longer covet the latest Barbie doll, yearn for my own pony, or prefer bubblegum ice cream to Kona coffee or a nice dark chocolate.

But learning to let go of things that bring comfort, security or satisfaction as an aging adult requires another level of maturity, another step in the process of becoming an elder and “meeting the needs and qualifications” not only of my body but of my soul. Indeed, I am beginning to realize, as the Daily Om quote predicts, that “the life [I] planned for a limited conception of [myself] no longer fits.”

On the one hand this is a difficult pill to swallow. In a society that regards aging with trepidation, if not disdain, I see the marks that living has left on my face and body and reluctantly acknowledge that this trajectory is only going one way! It’s encouraging to note that “these earthly aspects are only a small part of who I am”. My task now is to find ways of integrating a new and larger sense of self into my life plan, to shift the demands I make of my mind and body to something more fitting for this unprecedented (for me) stage of “eldering”.

And now, an intermission, while I track down whoever helped themself our ripe white pineapple…🤔