BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” (Rumi)
I found it difficult to parse what Rumi is saying with the above quote. But it resonated with a thought process I’ve been exploring for the past few weeks. And the discovery is this: depending on how much sleep I’ve had, or when I’ve last eaten, or what I have on my “dance card”, or a host of other variables, a different personality aspect tends to hold sway in my psyche. How I experience my life, whether I’m happy or sad, brave or afraid very much depends on whatever personality aspect has control of my inner narrative at any given time. And, too often, the aspect in control of my thoughts or emotions is what I’ve begun to think of as the Beast. I know my inner Beast to be a temperamental creature who can be sullen and judgmental, irritable and demanding, much like a child who needs a nap, or a snack, or a distraction. Another name for this beast is my ego.
Thankfully, I’ve observed another facet to my nature that I’m calling the Beauty. Beyond being just a contented ego, my inner Beauty or Light shines when I am not thinking of myself at all, but functioning from a selfless or egoless place — not trying to meet some personal need or agenda but am simply present to what is happening in the moment. That Beauty and the Beast struggle for control of what I think and feel, do and say, is an understatement. Which is why I engage in a regular spiritual practice to referee between these facets of my psyche. I begin by pouring thoughts and feelings into my spiritual journal before they become more solid and convincing, compelling me to say or do something I ultimately regret. The stronger the impulse to act out, the more effort it takes to rein in whatever energy I’m itching to expend. I’m sure I’m not the only one who comes to her senses in a moment of quiet reflection and asks “What was I thinking?!” after having created some major or minor catastrophe.
Hillevi Ruumet, a transpersonal anthropologist of whom I was a student at what is now Sophia University writes about this inner struggle in terms of Ego versus our inner Divine Light or Self, calling it the Transpersonal Passage:
“But if in this waltz where both are struggling to lead, the Ego manages to see that the Self knows the dance better and consents to follow, their struggle can lead to the birth of a capacity for love as Aloha, embedded in the Divine and grounded in well-developed Egoic skills that will help to implement the person’s newly realized values in the world.
“We can now grow into the ability to compassionately witness our own behavior and inner process, as well as that of others. For the first time, we can see what the ego is doing and decondition negative patterns with which we have identified before. We are able to be generous towards others and take care of ourselves. A basic cognitive shift occurs from seeing the world from an either/or perspective to seeing it as both/and”… “Self-aggrandizement is no longer a primary goal. Some may join civic-minded people who form the backbone of community service all over the world. Others may extend feelings of kinship to all people and/or all of life, so that the perception of “we/they” yields to the “we” of our common humanity (and for many, to all forms of creation).”
This brings me to the Rumi quote that everything in the universe is within me. If I understand that the universe is composed of energy, the same energy from which I draw my existence, then it stands to reason that everything and everyone else is, in essence, an extension of this energy, me of them and they of me.
The example is given of a wave that is at once individual and yet also insperable from an ocean of energy.
In terms of asking all from myself, I read that as meaning I can tap into this vast ocean of energy that is beyond my ego, beyond my small self-identity, and not only get the answers I need, but the wisdom and strength, confidence and clarity to act from my highest ideals.
Daily Om sums it up thus:
“We cannot help but be part of the realities of the people around us because we take form from the same energetic force, and this force unifies all life. This force is the light that all the great mystics and gurus encourage us to move toward, and it is the light we will dissolve into when we move beyond our individual egos.”
Aum Namah Sivayah