BLOG 137
February 17, 2025
LEAVE IT ON THE ROAD
“Resist that which resists in you” means to actively confront and work against the internal barriers or negative patterns within yourself that are holding you back from growth, progress, or achieving your full potential; essentially, it encourages self-awareness and taking action to overcome your own inner resistance…This phrase is often attributed to the Bhagavad Gita, a Hindu scripture, where the character Krishna advises Arjuna to “resist that which resists in you” to overcome internal obstacles and fulfill his duty. (Google AI Overview)
Today’s bike ride reminded me of something a friend and informal cycling coach said a long time ago. On that particular ride, my first on Vancouver’s hilly north shore, I had lost track of the group when it made a left turn at a fork in the road. I forked right and almost immediately ended up on the multi-lane Sea to Sky Highway, too terrified to turn back and ride up the steep ramp against the traffic. I ended up retracing my way on foot to the overpass that I’d originally missed, urged on, somewhat unflatteringly, by a peanut gallery of my fellow riders. Mentally complaining that nobody had stayed back to show me where to go, my inner whining was cut short by my erstwhile coach’s admonishment: “Leave it on the road!” She explained that the less time I spent ruminating about that negative experience, the less strongly it would affect any future rides.
Having already blogged about the time I was knocked out of my previous Lavaman relay (in 2017), I am well aware that the memory of that negative experience is still effecting my commitment (or lack thereof). Despite having two great teammates, I have yet to sign up for this year’s race. In fact, last night I told a couple of family members that I’d decided not to enter; training was taking up too much of my time, and, with just over six weeks to go, I had yet to ride the whole distance without stopping.
Today that changed.
With only a two hour window before heading to a farmer’s market that ran from 8:00—10:00 a.m., three of us set out to do the race distance at 6:30 this morning. Foregoing our usual coffee/chai break wasn’t the hardship I thought it might be. Before we even started, I realized that this was a sort of do-or-die Rubicon. If we’d not done the complete course it would be one more nail in the coffin of my race aspirations. My humblingly slow speed didn’t bother me; it had never been about winning so much as getting in shape, doing something I thought I would never do again. Challenging negative thoughts and self-talk. And getting a shot of those feel-good endorphins known as a runners’ (also cyclists’) high.
Only latently did I realize that having a hip replacement put me at a psychological as much as a physiological disadvantage. Physically, I know I’m strong enough to tough it out. I proved that by completing the course yesterday morning. Yet at every minor setback (I had had a broken spoke a few days earlier and needed to hitch a ride home) I heard the inner saboteur’s “I’m too old for this; I don’t even know how to change a tire; What am I trying to prove, anyway?” all of which sounded like valid reservations.
The fact is, at some point one has to recognize and accept one’s limitations. At nearing 75, I’m notably slower both on and off the bike. I need a couple of days vs a couple of hours recovery time after a harder ride. I do know how important it is to have goals, but might these need to be adjusted to different ages and stages?
In the AI Overview I read further:
“When faced with a necessary life change that feels uncomfortable, “resisting that which resists in you” means pushing past your initial resistance and embracing the potential for growth.”
I begin to wonder if a resistance to “aging gracefully” isn’t what I need to push against in order to grow. And how would I know? I decided to make a pact with what I call my divine committee, or intuitive wisdom, that I will persist in my training in good faith, and if competing in the race is truly not in my best interest, then may the message to change course be obvious. To leave it on the road means letting go of my mental resistance and second-guessing, and just giving it my very best effort.
As Roy Roger’s would say: “Happy trails to you, until we meet again”!
P.S. I’m thinking of painting my bike silver…