RELEVANCE
“To live in communion, in genuine dialogue with others is absolutely necessary if one is to remain human. But to live in the midst of others, sharing nothing but the common noise and the general distraction, isolates a man in the worst way, separates him from reality in a way that is almost painless.”
(Thomas Merton: New Seeds of Contemplation)
I’ve been thinking about the fires in Los Angeles, how they slip from the news headlines in a way that is almost painless, drowned out by the “common noise and general distraction” to which Merton is referring. The collective “we” (who are not directly affected) are now on to inauguration speculations: “Was Trump’s hand on the Bible during his inaugural oath of office?” “How tall is Barron Trump?” Oh, and by the way, “California wildfires update…” to be followed, perhaps, by Greenland, Canada, and, along with Elon Musk, world domination.
When confronted by such a torrent of information — some sensationalized so as to draw attention away from what is actually important — I feel compelled to crawl under the proverbial rock, or as an ostrich might do, bury my head in the sand of insignificant minutiae that can so easily consume my day. Which is why the word relevance has been preoccupying my mind lately. I remember a comment made decades ago at a PAC (Parent Advisory Committee) meeting at my children’s then school. Having squandered the better part of a meeting in irrelevant segues of all sorts, a frustrated parent made this observation:
“Let’s please just focus on what we can reasonably hope to achieve.”
What can I reasonably hope to achieve with my time and energy? Trying to take in and process even a fraction of what is happening in the global news, but also in our more immediate surroundings, (Kilauea is erupting again; the Big Island is in desperate need of more emergency services; everybody everywhere seems to need money) can, as I said, overwhelm me so utterly I’m not even available to do what I can, with what I have, where I am. I struggle to figure out where, how and why to invest my particular skills and abilities. And what might the latter be? A quote from Mother Teresa comes to mind:
“We can’t all do great things, but we can all do small things with great love.”
That should probably have been the quote to introduce today’s blog. But Merton’s quote brings home the need for what he calls communion, or genuine dialogue with others if one is to remain human. While there are many sources of knowledge and authority, I don’t find anything more salutary than sharing what has heart and meaning in a communion, or gathering, of enquiring minds. People who are willing to check their egos at the door and loosely follow what Transpersonal Anthropologist Angeles Arrien taught as her four rules of engagement:
- Show up. [Be fully present and engaged].
- Pay attention to what has heart and meaning.
- State your truth without judgment or blame.
- Be open to outcomes, not attached to outcomes.
Which is where relevance comes in:
“Relevance is simply the noun form of the adjective “relevant,” which means “important to the matter at hand.” Artists and politicians are always worried about their relevance. If they are no longer relevant, they may not keep their job. Someone without relevance might be called “irrelevant.” (Vocabulary.com)
I want to focus on what is important to the matter at hand. It doesn’t require special credentials or advanced degrees. It requires showing up, paying attention to what has heart and meaning, and responding with compassion and understanding to whomever, or whatever is right in front of me. This is what Merton intended by communion, by genuine dialogue with others. And it is essential if one is to remain a relevant human being.
And now, somewhat irrelevantly, I’m going for my daily chai tea.