Sept. 16, 2024
TWO LEFT FEET
“Especially cute in the eyes of men, clumsy folks put others at ease and come across as more genuine. Being clumsy draws others to you because you stand out as vulnerable without giving off an air of pretention. Others want to engage with you to offer help, which increases their own self-confidence.” (Verbling.com)
The other morning I pulled apart a pair of socks, the kind that are helpfully labeled L and R (purportedly because they support the arches differently for each foot) and found I had two lefts and no rights. (Of course, several days later I pulled a pair that were both rights, so mystery solved, if there was one).
Normally this wouldn’t pique my curiosity, but later that day I asked a young woman if her excellent posture came from having trained as a dancer but she responded with: “Afraid not. I have two left feet and can’t dance at all!” If nothing else, the coincidence of hearing this expression twice in one day made me reflect on the implications of having two left feet. Why, for instance, isn’t the expression about having two right feet? Of course we all know the saying refers to clumsiness, maladroitness, a lack of coordination and other relatively unflattering terms, but I was struck by a definition for clumsiness offered by Verbling, on the internet, because it put such a positive spin on our awkward “faux pas” or false steps, as they say in French.
This is especially timely because not long ago I made what I consider a faux pas that blew up into “epic” proportions, the reverberations of which I’m still feeling, and which left me feeling maladroit (ineffective or bungling, per the Oxford English Language Dictionary) in the extreme. O.K. maybe not “in the extreme”, and probably not “into epic proportions”, and possibly not even a “faux pas”, but it threw me into a week of such second-guessing and wondering what went wrong that I almost put off writing this blog. Out of this misstep emerged the overarching question not of what I could have said/done differently, but of how to restore some sense of self-confidence and equanimity.
I’ve often been curious to know how people sustain themselves through times of confusion, unknowing, and insecurity. My own go-to has been the grab-bag of spiritual practices I acquired from thirty plus years of Vedanta philosophy and a degree in Transpersonal Studies. But there are times when even these extensive spiritual teachings and tools “fail” me. Maybe it’s hubris that leads me to believe I should be able to glide over any speed bumps that crop up on my path, and I take comfort in the suggestion that such flounderings make me more accessible to my fellow human beings.
In “The Moral Bucket List”, David Brooks, a favorite author and columnist describes the spiritual journey as the road to character, and writes:
“This is a philosophy for stumblers. The stumbler scuffs through life, a little off balance. But the stumbler faces her imperfect nature with unvarnished honesty, with the opposite of squeamishness. Recognizing her limitations, the stumbler at least has a serious foe to overcome and transcend. The stumbler has an outstretched arm, ready to receive and offer assistance. Her friends are there for deep conversation, comfort and advice”…and…”There’s joy in mutual stumbling. There’s an aesthetic joy we feel when we see morally good action, when we run across someone who is quiet and humble and good, when we see that however old we are, there’s lots to do ahead.”
This last, “there’s lots to do ahead”, is something of a balm to the “me” who wonders if my best times are behind me, especially when having stumbled and figuratively scraped my knees. I’m reminded that there’ll always be opportunities to learn and grow on this human journey however clumsily, and joy in finding fellow stumblers, who might just have some chocolate in their back pack.