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BACK TO THE GARDEN

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” (Marcel Proust)

The problem with reading “Daily Om” before blogging is the feeling that there’s nothing more to be said. They’ve said it all, and better. You might think so too, should you choose to look it up. As I write this, the day’s installment is about ‘worth’. It’s tempting to copy it verabim, just so you’d get the benefit of it. but I didn’t and I won’t, lest I just rehash a good essay in my own way.

Thankfully, I then received a gift from a “gardener who made my soul blossom”, and set my mind on a different trajectory. She is one of a trio of people (who also have their own behind-the-scenes people) who combine into a force for good that I can always refer to when I encounter something that makes my soul wither.

For example, I woke with lyrics from the Beatles tune “Hey Jude” in my head that probably came from a conversation I’d had about “weltschmerz” (world pain) the previous evening. “Hey Jude” alludes to that kind of disillusioned sadness:

“And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder…”

Though I had to look up the exact words, the message was clear, “Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.”

I picture the triathletes I sometimes encounter on the sea wall, faces grimly set with physical effort, while somehow trying to convey the impression that running in the hot Hawaiian heat isn’t the worst kind of torture. As a person who spends a lot of time trying to strike a balance between what I hear “on the street” and what, in my heart, I believe is possible, I have a tendency towards weltschmerz, (which is why I know the word): “mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state.” And this struggle invariably shows on my face.

One noteworthy thing I gleaned from the Daily Om post about worth was how much my sense of self-worth influences how I respond to the world:

“You are born worthy — it is intertwined with your very being. Your concept of your own self-worth is thus reinforced by your actions. Each time you endeavor to appreciate yourself, treat yourself kindly, define your personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that your needs are met, and broaden your horizons, you express your recognition of your innate value. During those periods when you have lost sight of your worth, you will likely feel mired in depression and insecurity, and lack of confidence. You’ll pursue a counterfeit worth based on judgment rather than the beauty that resides within. When you feel worthy, however, you will accept yourself without hesitation. It is your value as an individual, who is simultaneously interconnected with all living beings, that allows you to be happy, confident, and motivated.”

In this way I learned that it’s not only me who suffers if I diminish my self worth, but those around me who benefit from the actions taken by a happy, confident and motivated person.

Needless to say, it was a great affirmation when I encountered the Proust quote about charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. It might not have struck me so deeply had it not come from an actual gardener whose efforts, along with those of a landscape designer and a contractor are combining to create an Eden (sans apple tree and serpent) in my own back yard.

Far better than mourning the illusions I carried about how the world should be, I can daily pay forward the thoughtfulness, generosity-of-spirit and can-do attitude that these three stellar humans, and their respective crews, exude. Their positivity is contagious. They have left a mark on my heart that reminds me I’m surrounded by good, kind, honest and thoughtful people. These are the fellow gardeners I seek, and have found in abundance, in my own back yard.

Please know that you are one of these charming people who make me happy whenever I see you. I’m grateful for you and everything you do to make the world a better garden.